Well, grades are out.. i'm quite/very disappointed with my final results(GPA).. but i guess.. after listening to my friends who have been encouraging me.. to give thanks... to rest onto His plans..

I guess after looking at the final results(GPA), yes i am disappointed. But after looking at the comments my facilitator made.. as well as my UT (just know it's a test/exam) result. i guess it didn't grieve my heart that much.. and even put a smile on my face.. =)

Because little did i expect to get those for my tests.. =) just see for your self.. =)

 

 

 

 

I mean.. i really didn't expect to get that.. best of all i've never gotten that kina UT score.. so it's kina big for me.. well.. something that i can give thanks for..

anyways.. just to show you some facilitators comments that really helped me pull through this final results shock.. =)

                                          By Science Facilitator

                                           By Math & Computing Faci

                                                 By Enterprise Faci

                                           Finally by my favourite, Culture Facilitator

 

Will miss them. =') Anyways, do keep me in prayer? =) thanks =)

Perfect Christian?

Have you ever thought about being a perfect Christian? or just by checking if you are acting/behaving like a perfect Christian?

Well, i do, most of the time. I see myself, very imperfect.. i look at each statement that i made about things in life. But it just doesn't really give me the geese of what life is about.


As i reflect upon 2007, i have to confess, this is a really Jan year, i had all the fun i wanted, i got try out new stuff, i got to do things that i wanted, and not to do things that i didn't want... till the extend that i got myself in deep deep sorrows, heavy laden burdens in which stacks up everyday... i chose a alternative.. i choose to either ignore those facts, or drink down my sorrows and got drunk. I did things that are really wrong and against my principles, just to be able forget whatever deep sh** i was in....



I believe according to what i can remember, is that i haven't touch the bible for a whole year... and even stopped going to church for about 4-6 months... all these things that I've went through, such a huge step i took.. away from being with God.

Coming to realize that life just seems so wrong without God...




Well, to me... i really start to see what God has done for me... First and for most, it all started with an email regarding about helping out the drama ministry in terms of logistics for the coming Christmas musical production they are putting up. It was because of that email sent by Babra that really lead me to feel kina "guilty" because i did give my word on helping them out... and I guess God did open a window for me, to so called "give myself an excuse to come back to church". And i did..

And i attended WEB.. nothing's new.. nothing different..but it was from there that God lead to another window... another window to coming back for senior webs... which i was lead to this senior WEBs Christmas party...

Ok.. something really significant happened.. i seriously was quite reluctant to go for this party, but i went to the party out of "giving face" to the person who invited me.. after which.. i really couldn't stand putting up a nice smiley face, so i went down.. bought a can of beer.. walking off... when... mingxuan saw me at some corner that he was sitting at.. called me to join them..

I did.. we talk and talk talk.. and as we were talking, i found so much resemblance and so much similarities of how we felt about WEB (not that there's anything wrong with WEB), and i never ever felt what ming xuan (and some of us) felt SOOO SIMILAR about what we were going through. I never thought that a JC student would feel the same way as how a poly student would feel. It was as if God was replying to my prayer (like duno how donkey months that i prayed ago).

I'm not alone in this race...


From there.. it gave me the motivation to come to senior webs more.. so.. started hanging out more with my wg peeps.. and talked to guoren.. and stuff... one thing still remains..

still holds me back.. and that was the question, "Yes.. i do know that God went through a lot for me.. but what has God and His will, have anything to do with me and my life? I don't see the link of how i can don't worry about my future, when i have to get and aim for good grades? How does then God's will/word apply to me?"


I thank God for brother Mark Cheong and Kelvin Koh, my real old old web buddies.. whom really stayed up through 2-3hours in the middle of the night after the party (it is one of the RAYS CG Christmas party), to talk to me about all this..

The answer to all that doubts and worry... is the word accepting His Grace that was given and to know that we humans are imperfect by nature.. and it is by Grace that we have all these...

little things that i worry, like where am i going get the money for food? was answered.. just to trust in God.. if God plans for you to fail... then He must have His plans for you.. and that He will provide... that's if you learn to trust.. and grab hold onto this trust..

Will you grab onto this trust, by first accepting His Grace for you...



Just wana share with you guys this song that i wrote 5 years ago.. when i was sec 1.. recently towards the end of 2007, i changed the lyrics.. hope it's of relevance to you..




New Lyrics
Title: Covers me
Key: A

Intro:D, E, F#m(Guitar Plucking)

Verse 1:F#M,E, D
Life's a journey that's so lost
Like a kid whose masquerading
The journey seems so long and hard
Always find me unremembered

Always longing for a Saviour

Chorus:A, E, F#M, D
I want that love that covers me
And cares for me
No matter' how much i have to go through again
He'll be with me


Verse 2:
I tried and tried to fool myself (again)
It never seems to go
Found me back in the pit again
Life seems so wrong

Never had a chance to pray

Life like a Spring?

Life is like a spring.. haha.. well... ever thought that life is like a spring and has it's ups and it's down..?

haha.. well, i had a lesson about spring-balance system..and the RJ question was about this.. =)

Hmm.. well, when i was thinking about this and it just reminded me of myself, how i really deal with my life.. And i just came to realise that i haven't been to WEB and other stuff for a really long time... yup.. it was only recently that i went back, (cause i just ended my production) i was really looking forward into going back and you know, maybe getting something out of WEB service.. and i did.. surprisingly i did.. matt's message really struck me, the part that "you are not alone, we are all in this together.. " and the part that he mention "life is not a rehearsal" made me really wonder to myself... what have i been doing lately? What have i missed? What have i neglected? what have i push away? what have i not learn to appreciate...?


The funniest thing is that i accidental chanced upon listening to matt's talk with the dance people in the dance ministry... i realised that it spoke and meant so much to me... the part that he mention that we are always heading up.. that we tend to forget to look back and give thanks and to look back and give thanks...


When he mention that i start to find that my life is really in a mess.. i look at christians in my class... and constantly asking myself... have i been leading an example that God has called me to? or even.. to my other non-christian classmates? What happen to me? I guess... my only solution and answer is in Him with Him alone... nothing else nothing more.. only in Him alone...

Quite thankful i got the opportunity to experience the warmth from fellow brothers and sisters from web again, really expected to be long forgotten.. but oh wells.. i guess it is a real divine appointment for me...


I guess, whoever is reading this.. do keep me in prayer.. =) Anyways.. here are some production pictures that were taken.. also some pictures of the past events that happen =)

 

P.S: I should be coming for web.. try my best =)

Revelations

Hey PPL! I will be performing in reflections in one of it's many production called Revelations, so whether you life dance or like other dance or love dance.. PLEASE LEND ME YOUR SUPPORT!! Well, the ticket pricing is only $10!!! SO CHEAP RIGHT? so must must come come come.. and spread around to people who love dance or theatre production. Besides, the poster very nice right? One of my dance friend worked very hard on it and ya.. we dancers are also are putting a lot of effort in making sure the performance is worth MORE THAN WHAT YOU PAY=P so do lend us your support k? =) okok Details are below and in the poster itself, do check it out alright? =)

Cya at the performance! =D

 

Performance: Revelations
Date: 5th / 6th December 07 (Wednesday/Thursday)
Time: 7.30pm
Location: RP's TRCC Theatre (9, Woodlands Avenue 9, S738964)
Ticket Price: $10
Groups involved: Maya Dance Theatre with Gamelan Asmaradana & RP's Modern dance group and Indian dance group.


Description: Revelations brings the great epic Ramayana alive through a contemporary dance production with the seamless integration of music, dance and theatrical elements. Live music weaves the essence of Asian dance styles, presented with a contemporary touch.


If you do want to go, please do get back to me, so that i can help book the tickets for you, or you could get your tickets online at www.GATECRASH.com.sg, Hot-line: 6222 5595

Tickets are also available at all Sing-Post branches and S.A.M. kiosks

Any general enquiries please feel free to contact me, or 6510 3000 or trcc_events@rp.sg. And please do check out this website to look for more events and to have more information http://www.rp.sg/happenings/artsfest_calendar/reflections2007.pdf

PRAYER

by an unknown confederate soldier

I asked GOD for strength that I might achieve,

I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey.

I asked for health that I might do greater things,

I was given infirmity that I might do better things.

I asked for riches that I might be happy,

I was given poverty that I might be wise.

I asked for power that I might have the praise of men,

I was given weakness so that I might feel the need of God.

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life,

I was given life that I might enjoy all things.

I got nothing that I asked for ---

but everything that I had hoped for.

Almost despite myself,

my unspoken prayers were answered.

I am among all men,

most richly

blessed.

Questions that i see arosing lately, not just from christians but people all around..


Happens to you.. happens to me.. happens to me...

I'm sure that there is a Greater Love, that covers it all.. answers it all...

Many of you from Covenant EFC would proberly remember this.. the 24/7 musical.

Here are some background to this musical, the musical is about the daily lives of indivuals and families, a mundane life cycle. Until a period of which a death of a boy named Siang How, starts to affect each indivuals and families. Read the lyrics.. =) See if it sounds familiar to you.. in your life =)


How Can I Believe?
His hands in my hands were so cold, yet his heart was warm with love. My hands in my hands are so warm, yet my heart is in a blizzard storm. Why is this happening to me, is there any reason to all these. I can still feel his hands with me and his face is all i see.

Chorus(*):
If there is truly a God in this, why did He have to let him die? Why did He not let him see my filth and my demons deep inside. Yet He took my son away, my precious in my life. The angel I knew was Siang How who died by my side.

All the days of my life, working hard to gain a better life. Have i really missed the point, taken for granted of what really matters. I have never known hope like this, surely a dying child cannot lie. Can't shake this feeling deep inside, Siang How has God by his side.

(*)
If there is truly a God in this, what has it got to do with me? I am just someone who lives next door, concern only for my call. But now that Siang How's breath is gone. I am at a lost. God how can you be so cruel to me. My heart trembles. My life shaken...

All the days of my life, working hard to gain a better life. The mundane life got better of me and to you and my family. I have sinned. But Siang How is not a part of this, why did you need to let him die? Your love is fake and you hate sinners and you let their children die.

(*)
If there is truly a God in this, what has it got to do with me? You are a God who hates man like me, punished my son instead of me. But now that Siang How's breath was gone. I am at a lost... God how can you be so cruel to me

You don't love me, my life means nothing...


Well..after reading this... i hope that the next song, will speak to you.. that is my encouragement for you guys =)


A Greater Love
Sometimes in between dark and light,
I still find myself walking by.
Feeling the dark and heard me said
Where's my Siang How, who makes my heart to sing.
I hit my head on so many walls but still in sorrow I did not find
Answers that really satisfy that will lift my soul high up to the sky.

(*)
Jesus you are here, speaking to my restless fear
When I hit the walls, you never let me fall.
To a greater love, I'm called to surrender all.
When I shiver in th dark funnel of my fight, your're by my side.

Your grace is rining out so deep. My lost has no place to keep.
Though my world may sink, You are the one, who makes my heart to sing.
Still, I may wander to my foolish ways
Fighting my way to have my say.
You have been King of my Glory,
won't you Lord, be my Prince of Peace?

Repeat (*)

When i shiver in the dark funnel of my fight, you're by my side.

 

Today entry/sharing isn't much about trust between people, but is about the trust between God and me.

Meaning of trust:

1.	reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.

2.	confident expectation of something; hope.

 

 

Let us look it in the context of the trust between you and your best friend.

We all know that, it is very easy to just be able to trust a person, something visible, something we can touch and something we can hear. What about something or someone you can see, nor touch, nor hear? What about God?

It is very easy to say i am, or would like or want to trust in God. But it is something very hard to do sometimes, it's just something so human. I just find myself sometimes doing the same, in fact, doing that all the time, not being able to trust in God. I can go to church or for cell meetings, praying, worshiping, or even sharing devotion. Sometimes i can even tell others to learn to trust onto the Lord, but am i actually doing it? Sadly, no...

Why is that so? Well, it all boils down to the time when i was in secondary 4. At the start of my academic year for O'levels, i said, and i so called promised that i would learn to entrust my studies onto the Lord, sadly, no.. i didn't. In fact, i was so engross and engaged with school activities such as extra classes, lessons, study period and talks... talks about how you can make your life better, how YOU can change your life, the world...

I guess i was slowly sinking into the world's point of view about life, it was all about you doing this doing that, getting results for your future. The FUTURE that you can EVER DREAM OF! So much so that it slowly becomes part of me, part of my life...

I remember it was 3 months before O'levels and i was devastated by the mid-year results i got, and was sharing with peter and galvin, how much i tried and tried and how much i've "prayed". Well, did i actually pray in a posture that i would trust or in a position that i want stuff back?

 

I've got a question before reading about what's going to happen. How you actually prayed and really entrust the whole part of your life to Jesus, and say, you take this life and control it? Or did you just basically pray, but take back your life back to control it? Think about it carefully, process this through as you continue reading this.

 

It's really funny, to see that i get into a better course without knowing and without much expectations about it. Well, as many of you would have know that i've been posted to RP's Event's management course. It is something better off, if not more than what i've expected/planned. (well, i've actually wanted to take a diploma in Tourism & resort management, but of course i didn't get in). Speaking of which i did not plan or think about coming to RP.

Ok, relating back to the topic about trust, it is sometimes just so difficult for a man to see great plans that God has actually placed/planned out for you. And that happened for me. And i've realized that God is really smart? like duh.. but ya... He always place me somewhere or with some person that i would never expect or think about it, whenever i'm planning of something that is not for God, but for myself. Smart right? haha!

I really believe that God is trying to tell me to look to Him, to come back to Him and to learn how to entrust my life into His hands, into His plans.

Frankly speaking, it is really hard for me, i am slowly training to though (no more trying, time to train). Do keep me in your prayer list. =)

 

The thing i would like to give thanks for is first God, Himself, many a times we tend to leave Him at the back of our thanksgiving list. This time, i would like to thank God for first loving me, second blessing me, thirdly giving me chances time and time after again and last but not least providing me with the ability to listen to His call and friends around to support me through this seasons and milestones of life.

Second, to WEB people, well, you've been a real blessing to me, especially the spiders, really helping and taking time out to process all these kind of things with me. Thank you so much =)

Finally, christians all over the world, encouraging me with your life stories, or things about what God has inspired you to write about. It has been a real blessing reading and being part of these network of christian fellowship. =)

 

This Week's Funny

Good News and Bad News for Pastors

Good News: You baptized four people today.

Bad News: You lost two others in the swift river current.

Good News: The Women's Association voted to send you a get-well card.

Bad News: It passed 31 to 30.

Good News: The church board accepted your job description the way you wrote it.

Bad News: They also formed a search committee to find someone capable of filling the position.

Good News: Your stand on nuclear disarmament has won the respect and admiration of many people.

Bad News: None of them are remotely connected to your church.

Good News: You finally found a choir director who approaches things your way.

Bad News: The choir mutinied.

Good News: Mrs. Jones is wild about your sermons.

Bad News: Mrs. Jones is also wild about The Gong Show and Texas Chain Saw Massacre.

Good News: Seventy junior high students showed up last Thursday.

Bad News: The meeting was on Wednesday.

Good News: Your women's softball team won their first game.

Bad News: They beat your men's softball team.

Good News: The trustees finally voted to add more church parking.

Bad News: They want to blacktop the front lawn of the manse.

Good News: Church attendance rose dramatically the last three weeks.

Bad News: You were on vacation.

Good News: Your biggest critic just left the church.

Bad News: He's been appointed bishop.

Good News: You finally got a key to the church kitchen.

Bad News: Somebody re-keyed the lock.

Good News: Your deacons want to send you to the Holy Land.

Bad News: They are stalling until the next war.

Good News: It's Sunday!

Bad News: It's Sunday …

—James D. Berkley, Leadership, Vol. 3, no. 3.


Taken from Church Laughs

Definitions for Fear of Rejection:
"Irrational fear that others will not accept me for who I am, what I believe, and how I act.
Pervasive motivator for caution in my behavior and interactions with others.
State of mind that makes me incapable of doing or saying anything for fear of others' rejection, lack of acceptance, or disapproval."

Quoted from http://www.coping.org/relations/reject.htm

 

Well, I have been reflecting on this issue. " Have i been feeling rejected in school/class?"

 

Hmmm... yes i do get that feeling.

 

The funny thing is that, it isn't the same feeling, i used to get when i was in secondary school. What happens is that, i used to get angry or so engrossed with such situation, that i would work very hard to prove that i am better than them, just to put people down, insulting them and stuff.

 

But the funny thing is that although i feel rejected, i do have that feeling of hatred or hurt so badly that my feelings overtake me... Instead, i ask myself, what have i done wrong to deserve this? Or rather, what have i done to cause such a situation like this?

 

If you notice these questions i asked myself was very much based on MYSELF, still about MYSELF... Before all these feelings started to arose, i had my quiet time in school in the morning before class, it was about Love (1 Cor 13). But the funny thing is that, what has Love got to do with rejection? I didn't get it at first, until i spoke to galvs about it.

In verse 4 and 5 it says,
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."

 

Don't you see myself self-seeking, don't you see myself getting very selfish? I've realize that i have come to a point that i love myself more than i love Jesus... That i've even brought the same bad habit from my secondary school years to my Poly! And that bad habit is to want to gain as much acceptance as much as possible!

 

I've always thought during my secondary school years, that "it is OTHER PEOPLE'S FAULT! It isn't mine, i have done whatever that would please them and Why aren't they repaying me by being a friend? Why can't they just Love me for what i do? " Can you see that it is a very I WANT LOVE, I WANT RESPECT, I WANT CONTROL AND I WANT THE WORLD FOR MYSELF!

 

It is a hard fact that i have accept, i really thank God for opening up my eyes to see that I have always been for myself not for Him. He has even opened up my heart till the extend that i would want to love my friends (those whom i felt that i've been rejected from) more and more instead of pushing the blame to them and even hating them for that.

I want to admit that i have felt that so much for this week, felt so drained down... felt so lost... but ain't i suppose to hold stead fast onto God rather than my feelings or on my friends?

"Lord, i am sorry... because i have sinned so much against You. Forgive me for wanting myself more than you, i've come to a point that i want You to break me down so that You can mould me once again. I find myself so selfish at times, that i tend to forsake You and go after the things of this world. Help me Lord... Take ALL of me... teach me to surrender! Teach me to Love! And be able to be FILLED once more with Your GREAT LOVE, that would cover and speak to me. =) Amen."

Devotion
Hillsong United

Verse 1                            
I've been running, trying to be one who sees
I've been working, salvation out on my knees
There is nothing better than knowing
That we are redeemed
Unbelieving trusting in creative hands,
I am praying for our world to bow to your plan
And this one thought is unmistakable
I take up my cross and follow you Lord

Chorus
When you stand the tall trees and mountains bow
When you speak the fiercest of oceans is still
And I see the sinner seek devotion
The lost become chosen, and I fall to my knees

Verse 2
Unforgiven, my savior who did not deserve death
He was blameless and I was lost in shamefulness
Undelivered, but it doesn't seem right
Unless I keep my eyes focused on the savior who gave his live
In the middle of a world that denies it believes
It is breaking apart at the very seams
There is one thing to be alive for
And it's to take up my cross and follow you Lord

Bridge
I will take up my cross and follow Lord where you lead me
And I will take up my cross and follow wherever you go

 

 

Well, it's been the 9th day i've been to school, pretty tiring.. but i would say a bless filled time after all.

Ok.. by now most of you would know that i've entered RP(Republic Poly, which is ops. pastor Edmund's house..GOSH~). And many of you would know i had to wake up early.. haha.. =P Well but the funny thing that drives me to school is my QT with God, ok basically i've been doing my QT in the morning in school so far, and will continue on. And for me, it was the enthusiasm that kept me wanting to go to school, it was God =)

Funny, i hate reading, i hate waking up early in the morning, and i hate school.. yet, when God comes into the picture, all these just disappear...QT it doesn't become a routine, rather it is more of a thing that i would like to do....

haha... i don't really bother whether you get it a not.. but.. to simply put it, it's been a great time i ever had since a long time, like a refreshing start...=)
I give thanks for this Quiet Time opportunity that i am able to spend with God, i'm not boasting about what i've done, but i boasting of what God has done in me and my life...

Perspective of school changed too, well many of you know that RP is my ultimate LAST PLACE I WANNA BE IN.. but.. now.. i've kinda love it, it helps me think better, keep up a better discipline in life and most importantly, a time to reflect (well we are forced to do a Reflection Journal).. haha.. it's really a blessing indeed!

 

However, ya.. its pretty hard for me, well because i have to consistent in my work in order to understand the modules... also people... some of my group members are sooo not helping... so that means we have to do double job..    its tiring la.. i mean... pray that God will really give me the strength to do it.. basically taking my life in His hands(thats if i surrender)

Oh and just to tell you my school call CIE (Centre for Innovation & Enterprise) is really great! and plus the class i am currently in W26Q are really a blessing from God indeed! =)

Pray for me, that God will preserve me and strengthen me spiritually and physically. And for God's presents to be with me through it all =) thanks gtg its really late.. toodles! =D

What does leadership mean?
A person who is good at communicating with his/her people/members, a good listener, has a heart for that particular thing he/she is leading the team to, and finally a good follower as well.

What does leadership in the church mean?
First, a person who loves God, placing Him the first in his/her life. Secondly, a person willing to surrender his/her entire life to God, placing his/her hope and trust in God. Thirdly, a person who has the heart for God, knowing His heart for His nation, loving His people and ultimately living a life of obedience. Lastly, having the core of leadership valves (the points for the first question).

Well, it was a really good day for me to spend time reflecting out life for myself as i was hit hard on the head by question that came out from a book called 'Fresh Encounter' by Henry T.Blackaby & Claude V.King. Question was this, "Have you been born again by the Spirit of God? ...Have you surrendered your will and life to the lordship of Jesus Christ?" MAN! That is one that smacked my mouth shut real hard!

And as i reflected, no.. i have never actually surrendered my will for the Lordship of Jesus Christ... but rather i have taken that place of the lordship.. controlling my life! But i reflected deeper and i realised that hey.. i did surrender my will and whole life to God when i was in secondary 1 and 2... but ever since i have been changed by God, and got the things i want and achieved.. i hate to say this but.. i took my rights, will and life back from God.. I wanted attention, friends, power, gifts, praises, results and happiness.. that was what i got.. but..

Through all these 2 years.. i gain nothing at all... Christ wasn't my center... I was my center! And that led me to think about people praising me for my leadership skill... but I have already fail to achieve the first step... placing God FIRST in my life.. not last... and to think of it.. what i did recently was to judge people with what i think i know.. like they could've done it better or this is not done properly and correctly... well.. i really regretted what i said to them, "complained about them" and worst of all to even think/feel that way... i am in no position to even feel or think that way...even till that extend did i feel that my leaders(CGL/WGL/ACGL/AWGL) that they have leading us in the wrong direction! I just didn't know why would i end up i doing things and feeling that way..

Well this goes to explain my actions for the past 2 and 1/4 years... i deeply want to change it from now.. in not being a better person or leader.. but rather.. a Christian that wants to place God first in his life and wanting to know God So much like never before...

 

Many people i would like to apologise to, but the list is long.. so.. i shall just list the recent and major ones..

• God - Sorry for taking my life back, sorry for even blaming You for my life, complaining and cursing to You.. and even placing You last in my heart and acting as if You are leading my life.. sorry God.. i hope to see my heart to be change once more by You, take my life, my will especially.. everything.. that i may be yours, ever wanting to know you more and more thank you for you helping me to see this=) amen.
• Mark - Sorry for doubting your decisions and actions taken... and even trying to bring out what i know to so called "go against you".. i really am sorry..pray that you would forgive me=) thanks for hearing me out.. most importantly.. thanks for that challenge in making me read up on this book... thanks
• Erika - Ok... i am most guilty of cursing and swearing about you... and even complain about.. i'm really sorry about that.. and also sorry about the times when i even try to put you down with what i know in terms of admin and leadership... and also the times when i doubted you of being my leader.. i'm sorry for this and hope that you would forgive me and to take up the challenge to continue to lead me..=)
• Joshua S - Apologise for the fact that i doubted you and even put you down.. throwing you deep down, not caring about your feelings.. and still thinking i am in the right.. apologise for even gossipping about you.. and worst of all not loving you as a brother but.. judging you.. am really sorry about that, pray that you would forgive me and even pray for me.. thanks =)
• My friends & family - I apologise for not taking the time to even spare a thought for you, cared for you and even didn't bother to pray for you.. sometimes i feel that i may be just using you or like just concentrating on myself and my goals.. and just plainly forgetting about you.. i deeply apologise and ask for your forgiveness=) thanks for even being there throughout =)

 

Hope that whoever who reads this would first of all start to reflect.. and to even pray for me=) thanks =)

Nothing!

Absolutely nothing at all!

The truth is that Life is indeed meaningless without God, it is like a fish without water...

 

I actually thought of these few questions when i was a young kid growing up in a church(not a christian yet).. well here are some=)
-If God really loved me, why did he let me suffer, or even His people to suffer to such extend.. like kids without their parents.. why did he allow that to happen? Does He even care!?
-Is the bible real? Well.. if it is... then why doesn't everyone believe in it... so why must i?
-So what if Jesus is real... my life wouldn't be any different... life is just so much better off without God...

Well, believe it or not.. these are questions that the world is surfacing to us, Christians..
But the truth behind all these questions lies a emptiness filled with wounds, pain... and that question 'So What's so great about life?'

My friends do have questions like this... but however i try to explain to them that God still loves you.. they just wouldn't get it... i've asked galvin about before.. what i realise is that they can't whatever i say even if i say it for 10 years.. well.. their hearts are harden to these truths and all i can do is to pray for them... its all in God's timing.. for their hearts to open, their ears to hear, their eyes to see..

And this is what i replied denis for one of her post about friends questioning her with those type of questions...

'....And you know yourself.. God Does care for them... if He didn't He wouldn't have provided a way for us to be saved! And yes.. although God allowed his mum to go.. it doesn't mean that He doesn't care, it can also mean in many ways... that we as humans may not understand...


And this calls to show that we should pray even more, for that burden to be broken and lifted up to God, for them to see His ultimate sacrifice He has given unto man..

I would answer the friend yours, this... there is nothing great about life, life is just a journey of trust, a place that we humans will never be fully satisfied about... and God has placed us here for a purpose, a purpose to grow deep in Him, that we may not find satisfaction in temporal things. Instead, we will be most satisfied in Him... that's life... its a Long Long long.. and tough journey.. but only when we learn to trust fully unto Him that we may see the significance of life.. all of us are on this journey =)'

 

well.. that's all i wanted to say.. i guess sometimes we as christians don't pray enough, but we complain.. let us pray for God to speak to our friends and for a divine appointment with them or even for ourselves=) Let us continue this journey of prayer =)

 

God Bless you,
Jan

'I Love you so much (My Child)'
Key: G

Verse 1:
There was a time
On broken ground
His life was shattering, into pieces

His family
His only life
That had been given, onto man

Verse 2:
Betrayed with hurt
Heart filled with pain
There was nothing, that He could do

All that He know
Had taken place
All He could do, was to pray

Bridge:
And there He found His life
In a God who loved him so much
That He said to me

Chorus:
'I love you so much
In everything you've tried
I've been through the things that all you have seen
Seen through the hurts you've kept inside'

Verse 3
Wips on His back
Thorns on His head
He was screaming, deep in pain

Carrying the cross
Weak as He is
He had paid off, the price we've owed

Verse 4
Hands on cross
Hurting with nails
Deep inside of Him, as He prays

Death on cross
Blood sheded out
All just for me, His child

A song inspired by Jesus..
Well.. this song is basically about the life of Jesus..
How much i felt He had done for me...
Well... the song isn't perfect or well-written.. but i know it is best in His eyes=)

'I wana thank you God for giving a chance.. a whole new chance.. a chance to start anew with you. Help me to go through this, not through my strength but rather from You.

Its going to be hard for me.. but help me remember i am doing this for You=) for You alone =) just like You've done for me=) thank you Jesus=D Amen!'

Life... so what's so great about life... question that hit me when i was helping out at church.. the question came from the up coming service... guess one thing i've learn... Thanksgiving.

I guess you can call me a complain king or whatsoever but... ya... i'm sure all of us do...

I've come to realise that giving excuses about things and complaining away... isn't gona like solve the problem... but i guess one thing that i've always missed out on... was thanksgiving...

 

A simple thing that.. my whole body isn't use to showing it... 'Why give thanks?'

Well..why don't? why not? i realised that i have been living in this bad culture by complaining away and giving lots of excuses, instead of owning up for my mistakes... and sometimes.. i really got to say... sorry to some people whom i've kina scolded them... forgetting that i do make mistakes..

Well.. i guess my previous entry i did state something strong.. thanksgiving isn't easy... well.. as a matter in fact life isn't an easy thing too... in fact there isn't anything great about life...

 

But... it is God who is in our lives.. each and everyone of our lives... making us realise..and to see the beauty of this beautiful world He has created... about the places He has place us in... planning our different lives.. that sometimes we do not understand that it is all perfect. Maybe being too caught up with the Singapore culture.. that i've always... thought that going into like  ITE and other courses such as engineering would be so called a "mei yo qian tu" = No future... kina of thing..

But i've learn from many people whom have encourage me.. that God has a plan for you there.. whelther you accept it or not.. He cares for you..

So... forgive me on my part of complaining.. giving excuses and blaming others for my mistake.. i'm sorry =)

 

anyways.. thanks to everyone who has been encouraging me from the start of my O'levels study and even helping me to understand my work well...thanks..=) and even the past few weeks of friends and loved ones who has stayed by my side.. encouraging..=) thank you!

 

Signing off
Jan

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee, How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee, How great Thou art, How great Thou art!

 

How great is our God? THE GREATEST! =D He is so great & mighty that words cannot fully describe... 

i guess 2006 was a year of realisation for me... a year to help me see with not just eyes alone but rather.. with the eyes of His heart=)

its funny i guess... 2006 was really a fast, yet a very long year... well.. it was a year that made me showed all my true colours to everyone.. and a year that taught me to bring myself to listen and seek.. well.. i guess one thing that i did that was the most extreme thing, that was to just hate God for everything.. even for the simplest thing such as for Him creating me.. ya.. its pretty crazy... well.. got over that i guess...still kina confused right now.. but its getting clearer to me now..=)

i really hope that as what matt had said on sunday... that would really occur to me.. even as a not so young anymore 17 year old boy.. hopefully... well.. i guess its a year to change things and perspective...=)

its God that has been really rough on me in 2006.. and i'm really thankful for that=) i cant help but to say that He really brought me through all these.. and i finally realised why..  i remembered as a 15 year old boy.. i asked Him to bring me to the extreme.. and let me know how it feels when i get so helpless without God.. that i may be able to share this testimony with the ppl that 'Thy Kingdom Will come'=)

well.. now that i also find myself still holding onto my pride.. and talents.. well.. maybe its time i leave it to Him to use it=)

 

ok.. anyways.. toodles everybody=D hope 2007 will be a blessed year for you!=D

 

Jan signing off..

 

 

How Great is our God! Come SING WITH ME 'HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD!'  And all will see HOW GREAT, HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD!!!

Giving thanks.. i guess, it is really something i haven't been really doing at all..

I just had my Quiet time after a LONG LONG while.. I was called to book on 1 Corinthians, and as i flip the pages of my bible.. question poped out on me, 'Have i been giving thanks? No.. more like complaining..' 

Well thats pretty true for me. And guess what, the first chapter is about thanksgiving...

I really got to admit, all those 2 past entries was showing how i really felt and thought about certain things... guess this really got over me. But i can really say those are all my deep emotions that sometimes i do not show around in church or even at home...

 

But i believe i should just surrender all these things and thoughts to God, and give thanks..
Its really hard for me, but i believe it'll really do me good.

Was actually thinking about all my past, being a kid, innocent, not knowing much, don't really think that much.. pure and clean before God.. who just basically give thanks and praise the Lord all the time..

Looking back at it really gave me a thought why can't i just be like that in the same way, let God be our father to lead and care for us.. feeling love by a loving God/father and being lead by Him, with no 'buts'..

I guess i've been thinking too much for myself, so much so that, i've neglected what i have and what i can do.. like to just give thanks for the things around me.. instead of DEMANDING from God..  Matt asked this question, "Do you go to your parents and demand for things all the time? Or do they get you to do something?"

For some would be yes, they would demand from their parents and basically this is the Singaporean culture.. the "i want this, i want that.." but most would be a no, because that is being rude...

 

Its just like me, going to God and COMPLAIN COMPLAIN COMPLAIN and like DEMAND DEMAND DEMAND.. isn't that rude and like not right? I would really hope i could change this part of my character...

Why must we even be giving thanks?
1 Cor 1:6-7, 9  'because our testimony about Christ was confirmed in you. Therefore  you do lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed.....God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful.'

Pray for me to change in my character, my heart, discipline, patience, thanksgiving heart, and that i would slowly learn to let go to let Him guide me through.. thanks=)